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Sunday, March 22, 2009

Our homeward bound airplane experience

NOTE: Our vacation bound airplane experience was HORRIBLE with a capital everything and I refuse to even think about it again, let alone relive it through writing. But it turns out that Lillian had a yet undiagnosed double ear infection, upper respiratory infection and a viral infection. I attribute some of her behavior to that. The rest, I attribute to her father. He gets that distinction just because he wasn't there to deal with it.

I will say, United did get me to all four of my destinations on time or early which is a MUCH better experience than I have ever had with them. However, I had to pay $65 extra dollars for my baggage which is a crock. And one plane each way was nice and big and clean and fresh. The other plane each way (the long leg each way, of course) smelled like a mixture of poo, puke, urine, butt, bo, and anything else bad you can think of. I think next time instead of paying for extra baggage with cash, I'm going to pay them with febreeze.

Anywho, on to the reason for this post...

We had an overall good flight experience yesterday, much better than on the way to vacation, but it was much more interesting this time.

A man was up, going to the bathroom, and taking a pen out of his jacket pocket at the same time. The Air Marshall, who was sitting across from me, behind one row, leaped out of his seat and tackled Mr. Bathroom. After he left his feet but before he landed on Mr. Bathroom, he already had his gun and badge out, one in each hand. It was very impressive. And terrifying, but very impressive. By the time they were both on the ground 4-5 other people were up, ready to do what they needed to do.

However, Mr. Bathroom was only taking his ink pen out of his pocket while on his way to the bathroom. Note: NEVER do this while on an air plane, apparently. Mr. Marshall re-enacted it later and it did indeed look like a gun or knife being pulled out.

All was good and well and poor Mr. Marshall knew he had done what he had to, but was still very embarrassed. I thanked him for doing what he did and doing it so stinkin fast.

The layover in Chicago, at O'Hare, was thankfully just over two hours because we had to dig a tunnel from C terminal to F terminal. Not really, but it felt like that. The shuttle that takes you to and fro is not available to Handicappers and Strollers. Bad planning and very discriminatory in my mind.

The second flight, the long one, would have been horrible if it were not for Soldier boy and his wife who were sitting across from me. We were in the very last row and Lillian flirted with Soldier boy all the way home. He let her chew on his dog tags, throw his cell phone on the ground and lifted her up to turn on and off the light probably 150 times. He and/or his wife held her for a good 45 minutes of the flight, and she was calm and playful. Everytime she was returned to me, she arched her back and threw a screaming banshee hissee fit. I felt the same way, believe me. And each time, they just took her back. After we laneded and were taxxing to the jetway (not a long time at all for those of you that know the Norfolk airport), she fell asleep, finally, after being awake from 8am to 8pm.

She was thrilled to see Daddy and refused to go to bed until she played with him for a bit when we got home.

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